Why husband belittles me

People do unacceptable things for all sorts of reasons. It may be that he feels undermined by you in front of your parents and friends.

But the important thing here is that none of these possible explanations can be used as an excuse. Then you can give it due consideration and work out if there is some way in which you interact together that needs changing. Doing it publically and in the manner you describe is very unlikely to get anyone the result they want. You tell me that your husband is shy in public. This may be what underpins his outbursts.

I suspect your husband probably does quite like the sound of his own voice because makes him feel more grown up than maybe he does deep down. From what you tell me, these behaviours have been going on for a long time. All this storming off he does is really akin to a teenager being told to behave — I suspect he feels like a child when you do this and so how and what you tell him needs to be clear and have more meaning for him.

This might seem really daunting but you are describing a systematic set of behaviours that he can quite clearly control when he wants to and these behaviours will continue to degrade and distress you. So they have to stop — one way or another. I see how it is," then he is abusing her and trying to manipulate her words. Sexual objectification also can point to verbal abuse.

If a husband treats his wife like a submissive sex object and demands sex from her no matter what -- whether she is busy, ill or just doesn't want to -- then he is committing some seriously emotionally abusive behavior.

Lars Tramilton has been writing professionally since His work has appeared in a variety of online publications, including CareerWorkstation. Tramilton received a bachelor's degree with a focus on elementary education from Kean University. By: Lars Tramilton. What are the Signs of a Verbally Abusive Husband? Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Husband.

What is Emotional Abuse? What are the Signs of a Verbally Definition of Relationship Abuse. How to Handle a Husband Snapping at Me Signs of a Competitive Jealous Boyfriend. Signs of Cheating with Cell Phones. Therein lies the danger; over time the cumulative effect of belittling causes harm by wearing you down and slowly chipping away at your self-esteem. And, if the belittler accuses you of being too sensitive, causing you to question your own account of what happened, this is not just belittling, but another form of emotional abuse called gaslighting.

It leads to a downward spiral of self-doubt that is hard to overcome. Learn the 7 Signs of Gaslighting. Belittling is a form of verbal abuse that can show up in several different ways:. Comments or criticisms that make you feel insecure, focusing on the negative and designed to create self-doubt. A remark that trivializes your feelings, thoughts, experiences, or accomplishments, making you feel unimportant, invalidating your feelings or downplaying your accomplishments.

Anyone could do that. Comments designed to elicit guilt or shame: this could be a form of emotional blackmail that makes you feel obligated. Shaming, embarrassing language: this is meant to make you feel foolish, self-conscious, flustered or humiliated.

Example : You look ridiculous doing that. Insults or put-downs: demeaning comments that make you feel inferior or worthless. Example : You are a disgrace. Bringing up past mistakes or failures: this will keep you stuck and unable to move forward or improve. It is negative and disempowering. Example : Since you failed last time, what makes you think this time will be any different?

Speculation over a circumstantial situation: fabricating something to paint an unflattering picture of you. Example : The fact that your client decided to stop working with you makes me seriously makes me question your professionalism and competency. Belittling is a covert form of manipulation and abuse that happens gradually.