Why do femmes like butches

Wanted butch. No smokers, Bis, or men. In fact, reference to these roles appeared to be relatively unpopular among women seeking women. Perhaps most surprising was the very small number of women who specified that they were seeking a butch lesbian as a partner. The explanation for this finding, somewhat paradoxically, may be related to the higher visibility of butches compared to femmes.

Since butch women are more likely to be perceived as lesbian, those who are seeking butches may have an easier time finding them. If this is the case, butch women are not necessarily less desirable, but instead easier to find without a personal ad. These results have two main implications. First, they support previous research indicating that many lesbians desire feminine qualities in their partners.

Second, they suggest that lesbians do not necessarily adhere to the stereotypical butch-femme pairing. This finding is consistent with earlier research indicating that the majority of lesbian relationships do not conform to the stereotype of the butch-femme couple.

Other factors can also help to explain our findings. For one thing, the lack of butch-femme descriptors in this study may reflect a class bias. Most of the ads came from alternative papers in major cities. Readers are presumed to be relatively young, educated, and middle-class compared to the lesbian population as a whole. Thus if the butch-femme system has been associated primarily with working-class lesbians, our findings may underestimate the popularity of this type of pairing in the larger lesbian community.

While our research does not support the notion that butch and femme roles are undergoing a major resurgence, it does indicate that butch and femme roles have not disappeared, and indeed that they remain salient for a substantial segment of American lesbians. Loulan reported that about fifty percent of butch lesbians indicated a preference for femme partners, whereas 25 percent preferred butch partners and 25 percent indicated no preference The Lesbian Erotic Dance: Butch, femme, androgyny and other rhythms.

Spinsters Ink, Christine A. Smith is assistant professor of psychology at Minnesota State University. Trained as a social psychologist, her current research interests are collective self-esteem and gender self-presentation. This piece was excerpted and adapted from an article that originally appeared in Journal of Lesbian Studies, Vol. I date Butch lesbian or trans men only no other demo.

Im as femme as they come. Ev1 diff. Your Name required. Your Email required. Your Website optional. Don't subscribe All Replies to my comments Notify me by email of follow-up comments. Log In My Account. Short film. Home Articles. By Christine Smith on November 8, The following ads are typical of those that did not use butch or femme descriptors: Looking for fun. Here are a few representative ads of those that indicated a preference for a femme partner: Gay white female wants you if you are feminine, free, caring, kind, and loving.

Christine Smith. Harrison What Happened to Him as a Child? Save the Planet! Gays for Trump? I had a damaging understanding of what masculinity was, which led me to reject anything feminine because I associated it with weakness, fragility and being docile - all things I perceived as negative.

It was not designed for me and actually, my butchness posed a direct threat. This really resonated with me. I am now claiming autonomy over that. Sometimes I find it funny that people think of me as butch at all. As with any identity that challenges expectations, butch people can often receive antagonism or backlash for simply being themselves. Most of us will never fit into that mould; we were never meant to and as long as it is something that is used to oppress rather than allow freedom - I, personally, have no desire to fit in.

Today, butch to me means strength. It means standing up for what I believe in and protecting those who need it, when they need it.

It means knowing when to stand aside and support, resisting, trailblazing, nurturing, learning, growing, being emotional, being vulnerable, and laughing. It is a badge that I wear with pride, thanks to other incredible womxn, all who have proudly worn their own butchness on the lapel of their blazers before me.